View Full Version : [Staff Review] The DrunkPunk Reviews: Future Classics

08-11-2014, 07:22 AM
Future Classics: 1986 Edition (http://ouyaforum.com/showthread.php?10853-Future-Classics-1986-Edition-Jayenkai)


In the year 2014
Greenie decides on
a foolproof plan
to make money.

Compiling a list of
current chart-topping
videogame titles,
he manages to send
the list back through
time, to the year

His plan is to create
the list of games
decades before they
were originally released.

since he failed to
include descriptions of
the games, Younger Greenie
had to use his imagination
to create the games, based
only on the titles provided.

Future Classic was born

Beware the puns!

From the mind of AGameAWeek (http://jayenkai.socoder.net/) madman James Gamble (Jayenkai) comes Future Classics. As with most, if not all of his games, the "retro" vibe is strong with this one and it works especially well here. A Get-Rich-Quick scheme hatched by Greenie will have us playing through 8 puntastic minigames in seeming BASIC format. The games are:

1 : Watchdog.BAS

2 : DeadRise.BAS

3 : TrnsForm.BAS

4 : KillZone.BAS

5 : NeedSped.BAS

6 : Skyland.BAS

7 : Battle.BAS

WatchDog.BAS - Watch Dog

"Help Rover to leap his way over the watches."
He is indeed a "watch dog", hyuk hyuk hyuk. Endless watch platforms are what our intrepid hero pup Rover must jump on...and on and on and on, to score points. The plat-watch-forms move up and down at random speeds, are randomly colored and somewhat randomly spaced. A ridiculously sized 8 digit counter is here to mock your pathetic attempts at setting a high score.

DeadRise.BAS - Dead Rising

"Waggle your joystick to build up speed. Avoid the dead, as they rise."
The dead you must avoid are white ghosts with rather too-large eyes for their head which freaks you out causing you to run as though you have two peg-legs. Random amounts of and random spacing for the vertical scrolling "dead". You must flip the left joystick around making your skeleton looking character cartwheel his legs and run through the columns without getting hit. The huge score counter makes a comeback. I dare you to try and get even 3 digits into it.

TrnsForm.BAS - Transformers

"Set up the transformers to power the devices."
Match the values flying at you from the right to the inputs on the left that are fixed in place. As you progress in the game, the values flying at you increase in speed and amount until you are completely overwhelmed. Once again, the long counter is here to make you feel inadequate.

KillZone.BAS - Kill Zone

"Destroy all of the enemy snakes before they kill you."
Collect gems left by the purple snakes while avoiding the snakes themselves. The gems, or purple snake excrement, pop up randomly and the speed of your yellow snake, as well as your purple foes, seem to increase as time goes on but that may just be my imagination... The big counter will drive you to sober up and control your snake better.

NeedSped.BAS - Need For Speed

"Do you have what it takes to get far in the race?"
Stay on the track as you zoom forward in this Tiger Handheld err, racing game. The longer you stay within the boundaries as the track zig and zags, the more score you get but when you stray off the track you health will drop, thus killing you. Finally a good use for our ginormous counter friend! It is possible to get some high scores on this one.

Skyland.BAS - Sky Lander

"Use your bombs to flatten the building work to allow you to land."
You are a helicopter that is slowly descending towards the ground but some asshole has stacked crates all over the landing area. Every pass will drop you down one "line" towards the ground and you must drop bombs and blow up the crates before you crash into them while trying to land. Not sure if the re-donk-ulous counter will see less zeroes on this one, but knocking out four positions is feasible.

Battle.BAS - Battle Field

"How many goals can you score against the enemy team."
You are a one-wheeled robotic ball jockey with one mission: bump the ball into the hole! Simple premise, difficult competition. The blue fellow has some semi-measured movements while your character seems to have been fed large amounts of robot speed, making him franticly flail around the course after the ball. You have 60 seconds to beat your computer controlled opponent. This game out of all the games will have the massive score counter letting you know how much of a loser you are.


Future Classics is one of those games that make me happy to be an OUYA owner. Simple arcade style with a healthy dose of childhood memories thrown in, coupled with slick gameplay is what I believe we need to see more of on our little grey cube.

This game is rated 3.5 out of 5 stars by 128 people on OUYA.tv (https://www.ouya.tv/game/Future-Classics-1986-Edition/). Little touches like the scanlines when loading up the games, to the outright punnyness of them makes it hit the nostalgia nerve hard. Like every Jayenkai game the gameplay is tight and, most of all, fun. My score will be 4 out of 5 stars, with the attention to detail and the enjoyable gameplay giving it that extra .5 star for me.


08-11-2014, 09:53 AM
Greenie thanks you for your wonderful review.

http://socoder.net/uploads/1/image-11-08-14-01-52-44_thumb.jpg (http://socoder.net/uploads/1/image-11-08-14-01-52-44.jpg)

08-11-2014, 09:58 AM
Ah Greenie, always so happy.

Glad you liked it! This one and Space Clusters DX receive the most play from me out your humungous library of games. :D